Why I hate legal writing

I decided to check in on the lawsuit against Eddie Radwanski, Siri Mullinix and many others connected to the Clemson women’s soccer program. Here’s what I found:

Original complaint

Paragraph 3: Explains that Eddie Radwanski is the women’s soccer coach at Clemson, which is in Pickens County, S.C.

Response by one defendant

Paragraph 3: In slightly more than 100 words, the defendant admits that Clemson exists, can hire people, and employs Radwanski as a soccer coach.

Original complaint

mullinix

Response by the same defendant

mullinix-resp

If that paragraph were written any differently, would Mullinix suddenly be transported through space and time to coach a different team? Or would she start to fade out like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future?

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One Response to Why I hate legal writing

  1. Beau Dure says:

    In case you were wondering — the defendant’s response admitted that the team took freshmen to the field and that Hunt ran into a wall, sustaining injury. Pretty much everything else is denied. Including the existence of one or two people, if you read this as in English and not as in legalese.

    Also, the case was dropped against John Does 1-10.

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